Did you ever notice that no two people load a dishwasher the same way? My Mom never washes pots or pans, only using hers for cups, saucers, plates, and silverware. I willingly wash anything that will fit in the racks and still allow the blades to spin. The only thing that I draw the line on is washing baseball caps in there, using those plastic hat forms. The idea of my drinking glasses being washed in the same machine as a sweaty ol’ black-and-pink Jeff Burton Exide battery ball cap makes me ill.

I was emptying my trusty and most beloved Maytag this morning, and, once that was done, began the process of putting the dirty breakfast dishes back in again. Doing something mundane gives your mind time to wander around, so it occurred to me that a lot of my life is filling something up, watching it empty, and then filling it up again. Along with the wonderful service my dishwasher provides, my washing machine and dryer enable me not to have to beat my clothes on rocks down at a stream, and I really appreciate that. They are also appliances that I fill up, empty out, and fill up again.

My mind continued to wander this morning during my ‘clean-ones-out, dirty-ones-in’ process, and I realized this process pertains to other things in life as well, like child-rearing. And as my brain most often does, it journeyed to NASCAR, and I realized I had some pertinent advice I could pass on to Jeff Gordon, a new father. Like me, he waited until he was older than most to have his first baby (I was 28, and Gordon will be 36 in a few days). Some do not agree with waiting, but I am glad I did, as I needed to shake off a crazy-shenanigans stage that seemed to hold on longer than most (I’ll bet Jeff understands what I mean). When I finally had Joshua, I was well-seasoned, and ready for the responsibilities.

That Joshua has multiple learning and mental health disabilities made the parenting more of a challenge, but the basics that I offer could apply to any child. As Joshua is currently in college and doing quite well, I can be fairly confident that my advice is worth hearing.

Never be tired of replenishing what is lost, and keep replacing old dirty stuff with clean and freshly-washed valuables. It truly does seem like the good advice and sage suggestions we pass onto our kids seem to go in one ear and out the other; the important thing is to keep repeating the process. Here it is in a nutshell: fill up what has been lost lost, and clean up what has become dirty.

One day you will witness something that has stuck with them and opened up like a seed, and blooms right in front of you. The feeling you get when that happens is one only a parent would know, and it makes your spirit soar. There are rewards for continual process of filling up what is empty, and cleaning up what has gotten muddy, and not just for the benefit of your precious one, but for you as well.

Perhaps I can put it in words that Jeff Gordon could understand quite well: be that gas can man for your child, Jeff. The gas can is heavy, and sometimes you miss putting it in right and sometimes you even miss the spot altogether. But once the fuel is in and you witness the roar when the gas pedal is punched, you will know you have done what God wanted you to do. And there is precious little that can be better than that.